Where were you Damon?
by MissShadsie
Summary: SPOILERS, 3x05! :   Elena's thoughts while Damon carries her home from the hospital, and later at the boarding-house. Maybe it's time things shall change between these two!   One-shot, almost 100% canon, rated T because TVD is 16 , the story is not tho.


Disclaimer: I don't own the story, or the characters.. bla bla.. actually I don't know why must everyone write this at the top since this site is called . So it shall be clear we're not workig with our original characters. :P

Anyway, The Vampire Diaries, Damon and Elena (c) CW and L.J. Smith

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><p>Also please consider that this is my first EVER fanfic and my native language is NOT English. So please FEEL FREE to point out any mistakes I made (there must be plenty) so I can correct them, but DON'T be harsh.<p>

Also, feel free to review and share your opinions, but don't bash the pairing or my thoughts about them. You accept my beliefs, I accept yours. :)

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><p>She woke up. The last memory she had were Stefan's fangs plunging into her throat, then darkness. Yet apparently she was still alive. She felt quite light-headed and knew by instinct that something was very wrong. A nurse walked in and told her she was in a hospital. Yeah, something was definitely wrong, Klaus wouldn't have brought her here out of compassion, that she was sure of. Elena knew she had to get out of here as fast as she can and find some safe place to hide, when she saw the blood bag. So this was it all about. Klaus compelled the nurses to drain her blood. She tried to struggle, but she was weak and the sedated, she had no chance. She fell back into the darkness.<p>

Wait, now… someone was pulling out the wires. She had no idea how much time went by, but she decided to crawl back into consciousness. _Damon._ He was staring at the bloody wire, examining it. She got scared for a second. The images of Stefan were still vivid in her mind, and for a moment she considered that Damon would be capable of sucking her dry.

"_Damon._"

She called his name. Partly out of relief that he's here, partly as a warning because she was afraid. She wanted to let him know she's Elena, not a blood bag, in case his thoughts would wander off. Then he looked at her, and suddenly she felt embarrassed for ever assuming such things. He flashed her a weak smile, pulled off the bed sheets, then bended down to pick her up. She barely had any power left, yet she clung to his neck, clung to safety. She felt him carrying her out of the hospital, but couldn't respond, thank him or even hold him closer. Thoughts were spinning in her mind, mostly horrifying, scary ones, so she tried to concentrate on the few others she had. Like how ironic this whole situation is. And how repeated. This is… what… like the third time (?) Damon's saved her and carried her out of danger the exact same way.

The first one had been such a long time ago, she had difficulty remembering it in her current state, but she tried anyway. She remembered her life falling to pieces. That was the night she first made love to Stefan and she felt so happy and carefree. Then came the photo of Katherine, right before her reckless attempt at escaping which almost ended with suicide. She saw the man (not man, since after getting hit by a car he woke up and put his bits back into place, but in that moment her brain couldn't register that) walking towards her and her mind screamed _danger_. She tried to get out of the car, but it was hopeless, so she was waiting and weeping silently. It all seemed so unreal, like it couldn't have been happening. But it was, and Stefan was not there to save her. _Damon __was_. Out of nowhere he showed up like a miracle.

"_Damon_"

He pulled her out of the car, held her in his arms like she was the most precious thing he's ever seen. Back then she thought of him as a cruel monster, but these were the events that stated to change her mind.

"Why do I look like her?" She asked him, while hadn't any idea why. He was the only one around and she had to share this question with someone. She was expecting him to answer and make things alright. Why? He was supposed to be the monster in her mind, the cruel beast she must always fear and despise, yet she was seeking comfort in him. Not like she had any chance thinking about such things at that time since she blacked out right there in his arms. Was she always fainting this much? Or is it only since she's been dating blood sucking vampires? She felt her mind straying from her original rail of thoughts so she tried to get them back on track again. At the same time she felt a gentle breeze on her arms and face so she assumed they were finally out of the hospital, but she was too exhausted to actually open her eyes and check, so she dove back into her memories.

She woke up in Damon's car some time later and thus their trip to Georgia began. That trip was quite a turning point in her and Damon's twisted kind of relationship. After she was over the "Damon you're such a bastard, how did you dare to kidnap me against my will?" state, she actually had a good time. She wanted away from problems, away from Stefan and that's what she got. She learned that hanging out with Damon was actually quite fun, that he was a little more concerned about her state that he liked to admit and that he could be trusted. He didn't compel her or tried to take advantage of her when she got drunk, but acted as a friend. Acted. She wasn't sure if the kindness she saw was real or not, she didn't dare to trust him. However that was the first time she started wanting to. After this trip she gave Damon a bit more credit than before. She started doubting that everyone (including Stefan) is right about him being a heartless monster.

The second time he saved her she actually could not remember. That was when Klaus "killed" her. Her last memory was the by now so familiar striking pain in her neck, then blackness. Again… fainting, Gosh, she is a real damsel in distress! Later she woke up in a sofa, staring into Damon's icy blue eyes which's at that moment sparkled with concern. She saw his worried face light up and relax when he saw she was alive.

"_Damon_"

So many things had happened since the car accident, so many things changed. Elena had a completely different picture of Damon in her head. It was so complicated she rather tried to avoid thinking about it. By now she was trusting him with her life, cared for him deeply even though she tried to hide these feelings from everyone including herself. Right in that moment when she woke up and only the two of them existed she was happy. Happy to be alive. Then the memories of the past few hours came back and the moment was ruined. Everything was ruined. Her life yet again fell to pieces. Jenna was dead, her father died to save her, she was so very sad, so very tired and so very alone.

Then in the cemetery, he was there. She didn't know why, but she took comfort in the mere sight of him. Her fix point, she realized. Ever since they met he was always there. When her life fell apart, when her relationship did, when she needed protection or when she needed a getaway he was there. _Always __and __unconditionally._

Suddenly she stops moving. She is being set down on something soft, then she feels Damon putting a blanket on her shoulders. She is so confused so many things are running through her mind, half of them she doesn't understand, the other half she doesn't want to accept. So she' just sitting there, staring at the wall 'cause she doesn't know what to do. Damon brings her from his bourbon. Whoa, this thing is really strong, but if he thinks it's gonna make her feel better then so be it, she doesn't have any better ideas anyway. He sits down on the sofa next to hers and she can almost hear the wheels turning in his head. He's thinking of ways to make her feel better.

"You know I can help you forget too… erase the memories you don't wanna keep…"

Would he do this to her? For her? Making her forget everything she learnt and experienced today? It would be a blessing. Not remembering all those terrifying things her so called "love of her life" put her through today. But she can't forget, she must remember. He said it himself "I want you to remember the things you felt while he was _gone_". How could she look at Stefan the same way as before? If he would erase her memories she wouldn't see Stefan so clearly. She needed to sort so many things out, and for that, she definitely needed everything she knows.

"No. No compulsion. I need to remember. All of it."

Now apparently that answer he wasn't expecting 'cause he's blinking repeatedly, typical sign of him being surprised. Then he shows her the necklace. The one Stefan gave her, back when everything was so simple. The one Damon gave back to her on her birthday. The one he put on her neck and weird enough it felt so _right_. The proof of her undying love for Stefan. Right now she felt sick thinking about that.

"I stole it back for ya."

Of course he did. He always did everything for her. He thought she wants it back, so he brought it. It's a truly kind gesture, but honestly the last thing she wants to see right now is that necklace. It brings all the memories and feelings to the surface. Everything about Stefan, and also everything about Damon. _Damon_, her fix point. The one who's always there to listen to her. So she's doing what she had done when he saved after her car accident. Tells him her deepest fear and waits for him to make everything all right again.

"He's really gone this time." She sees his face falling when he realizes she's talking about Stefan.

"I watched it happen. After everything we've been through toge…" No she won't hurt him by reminding him of that.

"… to help him. Now he's just… gone."

He looks so heart-broken. Like he would feel her pain. He tries to say something, anything to help, but he can't. He puts down the necklace, the takes a deep breath, trying to figure out what to say. But she knows he can't say anything. All hope is gone, they can't brig Stefan back, so she must accept it.

She's trying to hold back the tears. She feels miserable about Stefan, but unbelievably enough that's not what she's thinking about. It' Damon. He was _always_ there for her. Saved her countless times. He wasn't there today though. She had to face Klaus and Stefan alone, and today was the day she realized she needs him with her. _Always_. What would she do without Damon? He was gone for _one_ day. _Only __one_. And _everything_ fell apart again. She is still in shock she can't think, too many things happened. Only one question is clear in her mind.

"Where were you Damon?"

Now he looks like he's about to cry. She can see he thinks it was his fault.

"I shouldn't have left…" Yes, that's true, he shouldn't have, but it was her fault he did. He felt like she wanted to change him, so he wanted a timeout. She would never blame him for it. He thinks she wants answer to her question, while she really does not. She doesn't want to know where he was, she already knows why he was gone. It was just a desperate attempt to let him know she needs him. She wouldn't dare to tell it to him openly. She doesn't even dare looking into his eyes anymore, so she's staring at her knees. Suddenly Damon's hand is on one of them, reassuring her, also forcing her to look back into his eyes. What she sees there is begging for forgiveness and pure love.

"I promise you. I will _never_ leave you again." Some time ago, this might would have scared her, some more time ago would have disgusted her, but right know that's literally all she needs. Whatever happens, if her fix point is there, she will get through.

_Damon_. She smiles at him, it's a small one, but genuine and he knows that yet again they have an understanding. She feels much better now, because right now there's only the two of them. In the room and in her mind. She knows that later reality will set in with all it's cruelty, but right now in this very moment she feels content, because she knows that Damon will always be there for her, just like he always had been. _Always __and __unconditionally._

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><p>So that was it for now! ^^ I hope you managed to enjoy!<br>I loved this episode SO MUCH that for first time in my life I was inspired to write 2087 words in English all at once! xD  
>If you feel like this was a bit confusing, it's because I wanted to write this from Elena's POV, who was still in shock, lost blood etc, so her thoughts might now always be clear AND cause I'm not a good writer xD<br>In this little text I wanted to show the similarities between some scenes, and show you why I love this couple so much. Usually I find too much teenage drama in TVD, but this last episode really touched me.  
>Anyway... enough blabbing, I hope you liked it! :3<p> 


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